Morning evocation with Eastern chora angel reminds me that angels are ill concerned for helping humans support a faulty fantasy of ourselves or some sense of deserved circumstance. Instead the angel revealed truth and the simple path for true happiness which does not match the glimmering temptations of society nor my haughty imaginings. Not only are these angels veritable beyond question, they shred the illusions and fallacies of this world in an hour of words and images shown in stark clarity. How much do I really want to connect to divinity, and the world of spirit? How much do we (I) just really want to be externally gratified and supported by a spirit to fulfill physical extravagances?

Ironically, I remember when my magical experiments began with questions of, “is it real? Will it work?”  Now the questions are “Can I live in the way which the being describes? Will I do what is required to really be what I said I desired to be?”  Its not complicated…Its ridiculously simple.

Simple, but not easy. Obviously, what it means to be a “great magician” is defined by an angel differently than my own ego. I’m wagering on the side of the angel having clearer view of reality than myself these days……all days. I wonder how many people would actually acknowledge the truth if it was shown to them when asked?

FINALLY ...MY BOOK!!!

I was hesitant to write this post but now feel confident that my DSIC book will FINALLY be a go after much waiting, and disheartening past moments from other publishers. I’m excited to finally get this thing moving once again! I know it seems as if I’ve made this post before but hopefully this will be the last time. I do not have a DATE FOR RELEASE of the book yet, but I do have confirmation of a contract and a very supportive publishing company who is behind me and thinks this book will be a tremendous success!

I’ve been continuing with my work and working with a promising student who is deciding to try this experiment and work it as I have given it as well. Even with the book’s progression toward print, the work that this book describes in detail has blossomed into a growing art which I hope will inspire many competent magicians. My hope is that it will yield similar, astounding fruit from its use and application.  Thank you to all my fellow magicians who have read and supported this work and in particular to Magus Michael Cecchetelli for introducing me to my prospective publisher.

 

Traditional magic work is tedious, time consuming, and difficult to juggle with the equal task of living a successful, modern-day lifestyle. The effects of results and experiences are worth it for those who achieve it though, and I hope this book will do just that for those who have a desire to see it done no matter the difficulty.

 Thank you to all those who have been patiently waiting for this, I've been eager to get it to you....hopefully the wait shall not be much longer!

10th Operation. March,4 2012 6:29am Sun in Pisces Moon in Cancer, waxing. Final operation of the one year completed cycle of all four Almadel and Chora Altitudes.

I arose after a somewhat restless night. Showered, put on my clothes for the Northern Chora, and headed to my magical chamber. I sprinkled some holy water upon my head and anointed my eyes, temples and head with the hyssop oil while reciting the Psalm. All was arranged and the angel’s presence became apparent through the early part of the first evocation. Angel Captiel appeared in the crystal and regarded me in a kindly manner. I at once added mastic to the censer with coals and the smoke coiled around the Almadel in steady rising for the duration of the ceremony.

At this time I asked for my usual wishes and desires to be fulfilled as read from teh invocation and also that any obstacles, mentally, physically and externally be removed from my presence which hindered progression further in magic. The angels are to bind and remove unwanted things if consulted correctly. The angel said that it would continue to do so and also act as helper beyond the ceremonies to assist me in my pursuits.

During this final operation, I asked that the angel bless my elemental Earth disk implement which was underneath the altar as I had done with the other Chora angels. The angel said to remove it from other the altar and present it before him. I did so and the angel seemed to extend some of its presence past the Almadel and said to meditate on it when I needed to feel centered and balanced, and to remember to return to the natural working of the world and universe. I held on to the disk for the duration of the operation and indeed I felt more centered than ever before, as if a clear, immovable state of calmness had come over me. I spent a while beholding the angel and extending my thoughts to him which he seemed to comprehend completely and I was encouraged that I would continue in the correct direction for magical undertaking so long as my heart extended to the glory of God in the correct manner. I took this to heart and felt as long as my true will extended to my purpose for which I was conducting these experiments I would continue to learn.

I felt so thankful and blessed for the assistance of all the angels of the Almadels and at some point bowed my head before the altar and said a prayer of thanks for their attentiveness to me and continued presence and assistance through these experiments. I stayed in a state of complete gratefulness and openhearted attentiveness which again brought tears to my eyes. No other magical experiment has been as the Almadel ones have. I believe they grant fulfillment in the manners of aligning the magician to the elementally harmonious aspects of their lives. Although I have completed a full years cycle, I will undoubtedly begin a new series again with the Eastern Angels and perhaps even learn and communicate deeper with them since my first initial experiments.

I spent a while saying prayers of thanks and respectful departures as I bid Captiel farewell till our next formal meeting, the angel remarked that it would be near and continue to assist me beyond this operation. After I snuffed the candles and tided my working area, I spent some time relaxing in my magical chamber, taking in the rich deep scents left by the angel's presence which is ironically different than the mastic incense but blends quite well together.

I packed up the carpets and canopy and altar covering, re-exposing the surface of the Solomonic Pauline Altar. ...SO much has been done and so much more to yet to be done...there's no finishing point, but always a reaching. Beyond any images of the mind, there is the purity and beauty of true magic.

  

     I have been working with the Almadel system for almost a solid year now. Granted, I missed a handful of Sundays for this or that reason, and sometimes the operations failed where nothing appeared, but by far, most Sunday mornings have been involved in becoming acquainted and familiar with the beings described in the fourth book of the Lemegeton. To be honest, I have never before had such consistent and timely interaction with any spiritual beings in all my life. With the ease and methodology of the system, I can see myself continuing in this practice for a great many years, so long as the beings are still willing to appear and converse.

I haven’t posted my latest experiences and not sure if I will or of how much value they would be to anyone. I will say this though, last Sunday evening while I was in bed, I spoke (prayed) to the Gediel, the angel I had been working with over the last few Sundays, and asked if I could be instructed during my dreams that evening.

I was quite exhausted and sleep came quickly. I found myself in a fairly lucid state where I was aware of being asleep. I think I fell asleep remembering (visualizing) the angel’s face and how it appeared and spoke with me earlier that morning. My last thoughts were marveling that I could recall and see his face so clearly, in my mind. There seemed to be no defining moments between the time I prayed, visualized the angel’s face, fell asleep, and began hearing his voice as I saw myself in some sort of purplish-crimson cloudscape. The entire episode seemed to go on for a while in which the angel spoke plainly about the paradoxical nature of mankind’s attempts to grasp (more like clutch) at the spiritual. Much of what was said was about simple but direct reconnection. – Appreciating our place in the cosmos without the endless coloration of cultural and anthropomorphic attachments to what we make the spiritual to be about. I recall everything he said clearly, but find it difficult to relate (type) back into words. I was, once again, in that state of -no argument or questions, just –being-…”remembering” perhaps how the illusions and defining points are temporary constructs of the mind, that’s all. The angel’s appearance and presence was quite deified but as a matter of course, standing near to me but often looking ahead as he spoke.

There were no foreign and shocking words of wisdom passed, just truths about living most of us seem to know but like to distract ourselves from. The final words the Angel spoke were about dreams as use in a metaphor. He said dreams are sometimes intense and meaningful for people just like the one I was having, but that after waking, they fade from their original splendor (the concentrated form of the meaning and impact of the experience). After waking and setting our minds to the habitual workings of the day, the feelings, memories, and revelations fade from all previous matters. Many people go through the cyclical seeking out of new or renewed revelations to try and hold on to. He pointed to such things as being beneficial only for the further desire to return to simple matters of truth.
I had a sudden euphoria of divine singularity and awareness, that ultimate point I had felt I had reached more than once before,…. then is passed. I thought: “There is humor in this, sadness, and joy, a perfect, humbling, mix of indefinable certainties.” The experience concluded as swiftly as it began.
The rest of that night my mind drifted through thought after thought of interconnecting questions. I did not sleep deeply the entire night and rather stayed in that in-between dozing state of deep contemplation. Upon “waking”, showering and heading to work, it was still a sharp memory.. but only a memory.

The lesson seemed to be about “thought”, the spiritual and material world, and the nature of reality itself, ….all rolled into one concept. As if designed by intention, the spiritual world is immeasurable and quite indefinable, forcing many to experience it in a fragmentary sense and then apply it to their daily lives. These glimpses are enough for most seekers and magicians, for it encourages us to delve deeper and resume our climb on a continually rotating ladder. My experience was deeply moving for me but not necessarily thought provoking for anyone else.

 

 Following thoughts: 

 

I sometimes forget that my current practice of magic came after years of struggle and searching, exploration a variety of paths, religions, and philosophies. The prompt of my becoming a seeker came from more disturbing rather than enlightening experiences of the unknown. My current pursuits were definitely not the initiatory endeavors of getting my young(er) life in order. Those years were essential though as I grew my knowledge base and garnered a plethora of experiences and lessons.

For the select few who have found enlightenment and personal mastery through the paths of magic, each has gone about their own way of experiencing self actualized spirituality. That is to say, their personal involvement in spiritual matters through experience and practice has led them to their current state of awareness and belief. (if not a specified path or faith). Current examples I’ve come across lately are like those the ending chapters of Joe Lisiewski's “Howlings from the Pitt” and select other which bring the magician full circle to the original ‘point’ of living. You’ll see the evidence of this when the seeker reaches a point of non argument and complaining: A cessation of internal conflict which mirrors their interactions with the world. (Difficult for many of us) That is to say, challenges never cease, but personal actualization has reached a state where there is inherent “oneness” in all things and life and we no longer feel a need to “press a cause”.

I was reflecting on this the other night as my wife and I watched “PEACFUL WARRIOR”. A movie based off Dan Millman’s “Way of the Peaceful Warrior” a book that changes lives. I first read this book when I was a junior in high school. It indeed, changed my life and became a catalyst for living my life differently from that point on. Since that initial reading, I must have read it, and the following books, a handful of times. My later explorations into mysticism and magick were built on the foundations of Eastern mystical insights and modern applications. Far from the off-shot “New Age” trend, it was the few books who give it strait and sure without any fluffy tangents of fanciful intrigue.

When asked on advice about successful and purposeful living I typically will NOT direct people toward a book of magic. I’ve seen magic for many, and even for myself at times, become a distraction from dealing with one’s self and the world. Its pursuit can be a hindrance when it becomes a substitute for personal transcendence.

Instead, I suggest works like “The Way of the Owl” by Frank Rivers, “Way of the Peaceful Warrior” by Dan Millman, or “The Laws of Spirit” also by Dan Millman. These are just three works of a multitude of exquisite works which I have read. The reasons why I personally keep referring back to these and also suggest them to others, is that they are written for the Western mind. There are Eastern concepts and philosophies yes, but ones congruent to our mentalities and culture. On further reflection, the philosophies cannot even be classified by “Eastern” and “Western” as they are found in philosophical and religious works from multiple sources, cultures, and touch on the condition of all modern peoples. Other people may have found other books more insightful but I continue to return to these three works…possibly because they had such a personal and moving impact on me. Also, for each sequential reading, I have not found any of the statements or philosophies to be any less true or profound. They are truly “laws” one can base their life on and never go wrong under any circumstance, a very difficult thing to truly state in any day and age. You’ll find me reading from “Way of the Owl” to my students now and then in Martial arts class, just as my Sensei in Aikido did for me.

Magic, as an inherited or acquired skill is filtered through the developing will and awareness of the magician. In its deeper practice, it should trigger keen introspection, mystical experience, and revelation. Successful, continued, practice of magic can be determined by the spiritual maturity (mysticism) of the magician and to what end they utilize their gifts in service to others. You can almost gauge the degree of successful practitioners by those who have reached this point and continue to expand their grace to others. (This does not signify that they are all celebrity gurus, authors, or charismatic speakers either)

The point in my posted musing is how my own efforts are no “ends”, just pursuits of arts I love and strive to excel in. Whether are or these arts lead me to be existentially wealthy or poor, dignified or unappreciated, extravagant, or common, dynamic, or subtle….. If I continue to live in which each moment has meaning, I will have fulfilled my purpose.

My own council while writing this has been: “Just because I have seen and conversed with powerful beings of the celestial host, had profound and intensely exhilarating magical experiences, many will not….. yet these people may still arrive at the same enlightenment that I seek.”

 

PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF SPIRITS?!!

These writings are basically a copy from a great discussion I had on a private list of respected magicians…enjoy

     I use to get so  excited and revved up about this topic but I've debated it too many times. I’ve posted on other blogs, argued on lists and have read where magicians have gone back and forth about this topic SO here is where I stand based on EXPERINCE:

   Basically the topic begins on a matter of degree and the certainty beyond imagination and clear channel in which one is -really- interacting with a spirit. I’ve found the people who argue the most against physical -appearance- and audibly hearing the spirit, are those who have never achieved it and who have never taken the time to TRY the operation as it is given in the grimoire.

Claiming something does or does not work a certain way without really having the experience in it, is obvious faulty reasoning.

The Solomonic list as well as others go on and on about this topic. Many of the posts are the sum of justifications for never really going all the way conducting the grimoric operation (as it is given in the text) while claiming to be some authority on the matter.

I don't argue this topic with these magicians anymore. Some are quite gifted but still have no real experience in working a grimoric operation. To immediately jump to ATR methods, substitute folk methods or other ways before trying out the written instructions gives a magician ZERO experience working the grimoire. The amount of crap I've heard is astonishing consisting of every single justification, excuse, and reasoning known. I have yet to hear “I’ve constructed everything and performed the ritual just as it is given hundreeds of times and THEN I gave up.” You don’t hear that argument. Very few have impressed me or led me to believe they have gotten the true nature as to what any grimoire is about.

I have read where magicians say they did an impromptu evocation of so and so Goetia Spirit and they received the results they asked for even though they never saw or heard the spirit. To me this is not a successful account of an evocation. The answers to their requests could have been brought about by sympathetic magick, a local land spirit, their unconscious, spirit of an ancestor, the specter of the closet mop lady, or any number of possibilities, not to mention coincidence. This is a successful fulfillment of the “wish” or request, NOT the contact of the spirit they thought accomplished their task. It may have been, but just as easily may not have.



It would be like sending out a general email to a worldwide post with the heading “Pamela Anderson” asking for a signed photograph. Getting one in the mail a week later does not entail it came from her and would most likely be from anyone but her. The request was granted, but who knows from where or who. Many folks are satisfied with this type of “magick” but not me.

When it comes to specific spiritual beings I try to be as discerning as I can before claiming anything. Previous to the DSIC operation, I made contact with a few of the planetary angels I was quite sure I was “familiar” with. ( Such as Sachiel) After what I’ve experienced with the Trithemius art, I couldn’t be sure if I had contacted them, one of their subordinate (messenger spirits) or something else entirely that was of similar persuasion. The interaction was on a whole new level and felt as if I was “meeting” them for the first time.



(Perhaps its all my personal perspective of getting slightly closer to the ‘Source’)



      Even now I am certain I have not witnessed the entirety of what some of these beings really are and I never care to. It’s been difficult fulfilling some day to day responsibilities with the lingering effects of their presence. I’m sure some aspects of my life have suffered in my attempts to cram so much cosmic goings-on into my little head while still trying to be “Mr. Successful Mundane”. True skrying is perfectly viable for these dealings. The effects can still be similar with the spirit’s presence impacting the atmosphere {signs of their arrival} and may still cause seemingly physical effects in the immediate environment. It does not have to be an evocation to “physical appearance” although I believe this is at the high end of the scale concerning spiritual contact. For me, its about my level of certainty and revelation that I’ve truly met a being beyond my own head. I may not completely understand what/who I’ve experienced, but at least I’m certain I did experience it. I can point out direct examples of how my life has improved or gifts of a certain kidn have obviously been bestowed upon me by the spirits I’ve talked to. However, I think the experience of them has been the hugest life changing phenomena I could ever relate.

After what I've experienced, I can understand how how most people might enjoy using simpler forms of invocation/evocation. .. At least in some cases, it would be more agreeable to use methods other than grimoric evocation to garner help from spiritual beings.

The degree of spirit-human interaction I believe can have a staunch impact on the psyche and field/spectrum-reality of the magician. It hasn't become "common" or "comfortable", for me and is still rather taxing at times. It is worth it in every fraction of the experience though.

I have come to believe that when a spirit, (demon or angel) is compelled to make its presence physically known, it bends a lot of "rules" and the unnaturalness of the event causes some sort of stress on the immediate environment as well as the magician. (Possibly the spirit as well) The degree or magnitude of the spirit’s presence can cause what Lisiewski (Ceremonial Magic and the Power of Evocation/Howlings) termed the "slingshot" effect and others "paradox". Basically, difficulties and incursions (which seem to manifest after an operation where the spirit appeared and affected the physical environment) occur in awkward manners in order to restore "normalcy". At least that is how it has appeared to me and has caused some interesting and frustrating repercussions.

It seems like the conjured spirit has little if any involvement in these occurrences, and it is reality itself or a "moderator" which causes this phenomena to occur.

-Then why perform these sorts of evocations at all? -



The beings can be disturbing, bring nightmares, can leave you feeling more than a bit uneasy and cause that slingshot thing to occur. …….The reason is, 

 -The Affirmation of Introduction.



When I first attempted to conjure a Goetic Spirit it was interesting, spooky, and very much- VUAGE. I realized later I had no real confirmation of exactly what (if anything substantial) had been evoked. I could have contacted a weird vision of deceased ancestor for all I really knew. I saw an image yes, but it appeared like an apparition and did not “speak” so far as I could hear. It was a first step, something had happened, I got a sense that it (the grimoire) could at least “work”.

Before my grimoire obsession, I made many attempts to contact other beings, mostly Celtic related: Fae, godforms, genius loci, and Sidhe (ironically all following under or about the same heading). I experienced a few intense OBE/astral encounters where the being was seen and heard very clearly. Other times I made offerings and spoke aloud to spirits in the forest I couldn’t really “see” but indefinitely felt were there. I received the results I asked for and found this practice very agreeable which is why I continue it to this day. My intuition leads me to believe, spirits appreciate this type of interaction above many others. I felt my relations to the unseen inhabitants grow but wasn’t exactly sure who or what.



-In ceremonial/grimoric magick however, my goal is to {initially} contact a certain sprit, greet them face to face, become acquainted with them, first before asking anything from them. I cannot settle for anything generic because I cannot be certain of what/who is appearing and what/who is doing what for me. Results or gains have always been secondary on my list of goals concerning evocation. If I just needed something done, I’d most likely do anything other than evocation of a powerful spirit.

The topic of angelic evocation has been bantered about on a certain list as a few people have been posting in about their idle conversations with METETRON, of all angels. I cannot help but scoff just a bit and roll my eyes. If any interaction had taken place it was such a fractioned piece of a fraction that it would hardly be worth mentioning. Spirits can work in any manner they chose and this is not to say Metetron could not speak with these people.

Yet, again, it’s a matter of degree and channel. Just because I received a telegram from The Prime Minister’s assistant who dictated a reply to a secretary, does not mean I have any indication of whom or what the Prime minister is about. I got a reply sure, but from whom? For some, simply getting a reply is good enough. It was for me when I was just trying this stuff out, but I’m a little more skeptical with myself and the spirits these days and want to make sure I’m contacting who I intend. However, after initial contact, I am much apt to utilize a system like Josh’s or something simpler to make requests as I care less about ‘who’ accomplished them and more about getting it done. I feel more confident after initial introduction that I can contact the correct angel/spirit/demon/being after already meeting them. Each feels a bit different to me. Asking something from someone/thing I’ve never really met seems a little assuming if not rude. ( I like to ask the spirit what its able to do for me instead of just assuming it can because the grimore or another magician told me so)

‎"Real" results -to me anyway-, consist of beholding something in the UTMOST certainty possible. That is, perceiving and communicating clearly with the spirit I am contacting. I bypass this rule during some other magical workings with spirits besides grimoric evocation. I use the conjurations the grimoires use which state the spirit is to "come visibly and affably, speak unto me with a Clear voice Intelligible" anything besides this is a breaking of the stated terms and thus not a fulfillment of them. It keeps sincerity and integrity in what the operation is about. I didn't spend years crafting belts out of expensive lion hide, days painting a circle, and months memorizing the conjurations for an ambiguous event in where I am not certain of what I experienced.

Magic, especially tradition, art based ritual magic is a slippery slope for those who begin to rationalize away and cut corners from the start.....I have yet to see where a magician has not compromised to the point of abandoning the art for a more imagery game style of "magic" when it comes to evocation.... ..

Although Joe Lisiewski's writings tend to fume me and I see where hes stepped a bit beyond his humility ;-) I understand his scoffs at most "New Agers" out there and all the boasting "modified magicians" .....its a bit difficult to take ANYONE serious after you've actually witnessed the poundings on the wall, flashes of light, smells, moans, screams, voices, and visible appearance of a spirit...while these self-proclaimed authorities say these types phenomena don't really matter, or they don't really happen, or don't denote true success of an evocation. To me, its a cop out, I smile yet feel sorry for the new magicians who settle for these words. a huge Light show is not required, but are the results of a profound spiritual evocation on the physical realm.

Now, let me CLARIFY some terminology:  "Physical Appearance" confuses some into thinking that the magician meant a spirit "came into physical form". I don't think any respectable magicians have quite gone so far to claim a spirit became physically tangible. .

The spirit's degree of possible 'interaction' with the physical world is something on paradoxical scale though. The most dynamic evidence of their presence besides their visible appearance is the poltergeist type activity: Winds, sounds, banging, objects moving, etc which seem to have no logical source. I've experienced this only a handful of times in my life but it is quite apparent and not vague in any way.

.... There always seems to be repercussions from the 'unnaturalness' of these events after which I don't think is necessarily caused by the evoked spirit themselves. Some sort of strain or hiccup in the natural flow of things

.. An excellent story I heard from my anthropology class was about a researcher who went to investigate the powers of a shaman somewhere in the south Asian jungles. The shaman was curing an afflicted boy who's disease was caused by a local demon the village people said. .... During the exorcism, the tribes folk all saw the demon fly out of the boy and break a limb of a tree with its body as it left. The anthropologist was present, felt strong winds arise and witnessed the breaking limb but could not see the demon.... A great case study as I recall, the researcher was amazed and quite disturbed but didn't have the "aptitude" or mental language to see the spirit directly.. In the realm of hypnosis and mental/unconscious comprehension ... You see this a lot.

 

….SIDE THOUGHT…..

Something interesting to note which I learned recently is that astrophysicists now agree that "Energy can become/turn into matter" A prospect that was rather fantastical sounding until recently. For them it has given credence to the "Big Boom" .."creating SOMETHING out of "NOTHING" ...It was exciting for me to learn because the more the explained it, the more magical/divine is sounded in rational terms.(it had to happen just so)...Energy when moved a very certain way (i.e intelligently) can create matter....The scientist have theorized on the "how" but not exactly "what" causes or can cause this to happen.

Despite my advocacy for visibly seen and directly heard spirits during magical evocation, I also argue how ridiculous it is for ANYTHING spiritual/nonphysical to need to LOOK like anything at all. That is to say I doubt fairly highly that spirits in their natural state look like anything at all or reside in places that have obviously physical references. "Heaven is a place paced with streets of gold..etc." When we see Goetia spirits as a combination of various animals and anthropomorphic features, I think it is the attempt of our brains trying to decode purely spiritual and symbolic concepts into "physical" or visible representations...

This is a conclusion I came to after the length of time I spent experimenting with various people using hypnosis.

If someone has no subconscious frame of reference for a "thing" they cannot see it, cannot know it. Ironically this does not apply strictly to the spiritual....People have trouble SEEING something physically presences when they do not have a frame of reference for it. The brain will actually scramble to correlate something to what they know, often causing falters in observation and comprehension of what they are actually seeing. The reason why eyewitness and recalled memories are often not based on "fact" at all. Human beings are very poor observers when the multitude of variables are considered.

I see the complete act of magical/grimoric evocation as a way of actively altering the mind and comprehension sensors to be able to behold intelligences which are otherwise sublime and enigmatic to the point of being 'vague invisibilities'. The involvement of the divine to help achieve this phenomena on our behalf, as well as the rigorous dedication which is needed to achieve these ends allows the experience to take place. The true reaction of which is what is described as "Divine Bliss" by Lisiewski. A very intense and unique experience which is why I cannot give much credence to the CASUAL SUMMONER who acts as if such feats are every day and cause little impact on his psyche.
What Lisiewski is describing, as well as myself, a few others are not the "spirit pot interactions", tending to the shrines and ongoing relations with ancestor spirits, or petitions to spirits of various loci... These ARE veritable magical practices but NOT what the grimories are describing.....It frustrates me to see where current magicians are devolving the practices of the grimories into these methopds when they are quite obviously NOT the same practices.

..The state I was in in which the most intense and apparent phenomena occurred was when I was in a similar state of 'transcendence' I guess you could say from normal thought. Those times which are difficult to explain due to the lack of removed analytical reasoning. I had stopped 'thinking' about the evocation and and trying to make things happening and things 'were just happening' I was filled with such intense states of awareness I was unable to examine my 'awareness' until afterward. I did not expect anything to happen but KNEW what I was going to experience. The moments where I had no doubts, no arguments, no examinations beyond what was going on..( The (The mind stops analyzing the conjurations and each word is a certainty of express, for reaction) .INTENSE power and CERTAINTY which I continue to attribute to God: something way beyond "myself" weather from my HGA directly or the Source o Creation or both...it was if both and either did not matter as all was within at that time....That feeling of everything coming into alignment.. "Bliss" i guess is a good description. Its amazing but the times after can get strange and sort of backlash....Conception of reality and logical flow seems to get fragmented a bit....